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Mr. Tyson goes to Washington Posted: Friday March 15, 2002 3:37 PM
Mike Tyson and Washington D.C. are made for each other. Mike is going to be the biggest thing to hit that town since, oh, Gary Condit. Or someone like that. His proposed June 8 fight against Lennox Lewis can be called something like "The Beltway Battle for the Belt" and he can do the Sunday morning shows with Sam and Cokie and Tim Russert and The Washington Post can run an expose on how he likes to wear his underpants inside out. Or something like that. He can do side-by-side press conferences with Donald Rumsfeld or maybe even George W., promising to extract the same kind of vengeance on Mr. Lewis that the administration plots for the alleged evil doers in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and North Korea. Maybe there can be a combined photo op, Iron Mike showing George W. how we can "take a bite out of terror." Or something like that. The conservative pundits can draw analogies between the pressures of the squared circle and the Oval Office. In a warlike time, this warlike man can vanquish a foreign foe in front of our exalted makers and exalted shakers. The heavyweight title can come home and a policy strategy of Peace Through Mayhem -- Barbarism is Best can be validated one more time. Be like Mike. The American capitol can celebrate this true, vicious American original. Let's roll. Or something like that. Leigh Montville's commentaries appear regularly on CNN/Sports Illustrated.
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