Panther prattle

Carolina fans have drawing blood on their minds

Before I get into the current set of flavor-of-the-week rippers, in this case wearing the Carolina colors, let me assign the leadoff spot to someone presenting an intriguing and original idea.

Jon Viglione of St. Louis, and I'm indulging in a rare last name mention here because there was a kid I went to school with in Washington Heights in Manhattan named Squash Viglione ... actually he wasn't named that, it was the name we gave him; I don't even remember his first name ... and I wondered if you were a relative of old Squash. Anyway, Jon suggests two pregame-coin flips, the second one keyed to possible overtime. In this way a team would know ahead of time who will get the ball, should the game go to OT, and can map its strategy accordingly.

Now that's an interesting idea. So I bounced it off The Flaming Redhead, but first I had to make sure she fully understood the overtime concept. So I asked her.

"Well," she said, "you work your 40 hours a week and anything past that is overtime."

Right. Sorry I bothered you, honey. So I was left to think about it myself, and I have two things against it: 1) It would clutter up the pregame too much. I mean, all that coin tossing, etc. And 2) it would remove an element of suspense that I kind of like in an OT situation. I don't think it's a good thing to remove suspense from a contest. And from Linda, once we got the thing straightened out -- "It's like assuming you're going to fail a course in college, so you line up your teacher for the repeat, ahead of time." I'm not sure I understand that, but I like it when she's operating at a greater depth than I am. Thanks, Jon, for your kind words, and I'll need them because here comes the lynch mob.

How could I rank the 3-0 Panthers No. 20? Among those catching a ride in the Jimmymobile and making it past the entranceway were the following: Zach of Dickinson, Texas; Derek and Matt of Charlotte, N.C.; Will of Sioux Falls; Stuart of Greensboro, N.C., and Michael of Durham, N.C.

My reasoning: I felt the teams that I rated higher than Carolina would all beat the Panthers. If I'm wrong, then Carolina will be raised accordingly in the standings. But, as was pointed out by a few of these irate e-mailers, if I raise them too high, then it'll be out of guilt, and if I don't raise them enough, then it will be from stubbornness. So I'm neatly boxed in, whatever I do, and I'd better pray for a Packers blowout this Sunday.

Well, I raised Kansas City three spots after a loss -- to New England, so the idea doesn't scare me. I'll be watching the Panthers-Packers game carefully, and unless I screw up the time recorder, as I did with one game last weekend, I'll be fully prepared to give Carolina an absolutely fair shake in next week's rankings. And that's the most I can promise you.

John of NYC, and I thank you, logically wonders why Rams coach Mike Martz was so quick to take a pass on Cris Carter when it now appears that he certainly could have helped. No. 1, money. Both Martz's third and fourth receivers, Ricky Proehl and Yo Murphy, respectively, come cheaper. So does Terrence Wilkins, a returner and sometime receiver. No. 2, Carter's reputation as a whiner late in his career and, rightly or wrongly, the fear that he might cause too much trouble if he didn't feel he was getting the ball enough. No. 3, Martz seems to prefer smaller and quicker wideouts, although I can't believe that he likes Murphy more than Carter. In hindsight, it looks like Martz blew it. Tory Holt is terrific. Isaac Bruce has turned into a catch-one, drop-one. Proehl is strictly short-to-midrange, and Murphy and Wilkins are non-factors. It seems that Carter certainly could have added some class to this group, but when your QB is throwing coconuts, nothing much helps.

Mark of Ann Arbor, Mich., and thanks for saying the nice things you did, is puzzled because some folks say a rookie QB ought to play, and others feel that he should sit on the bench and learn, before he's thrown to the wolves. I think rookie QBs should play, but only if there's a coach in place who's savvy enough to figure out ways of protecting him. Make sure the blitz pickup scheme is sound and he has his hot reads down. Max protect a lot. Don't give him more than he can handle. If a team is shooting for a playoff berth, or higher, it might have other priorities, but those teams usually have veteran quarterbacks in place. The hot rookies generally have to play for the bad teams, and it gets tough, but that's the way they learn.

Salvador, a Packers fan from Leon, Gto., Mexico, wonders why the Green Bay offense isn't more explosive, considering all the weapons it has. Ahman Green has been hurt, but even so, I think you'll find the Pack up there in almost every offensive category, including points scored. Are you sure, Salvador, that you don't mean "entertaining," when you say explosive? Besides, how many really explosive offenses are there in the NFL these days? Steve Spurrier was supposed to add some explosion to the game and his offense has been mired in ineptitude, plus his game plans have been conservative. The Dolphins' coordinator, Norv Turner, has been a down-the-field guy throughout his career, but he's kept it fairly well buttoned-up so far. The Jets opened the season promising to be more explosive this year, and clunk! Down they went. And how about the Greatest Show on Turf? That explosive thing can be a trap. Winning, ah that's where it's at. Thanks for your praise, amigo.

Bruce of Pittsburgh and a transplanted Niagara Fallsian, uh, Fallser, Falstaff, (what?) wants my take on the Bills' defensive line that looked like such a disaster area during the preseason. The D-line plays hard and it's well-coached. Sometimes that can get you farther than merely sending out a lineup of fancy names. My preseason nail biting might have been premature. A lot of qualifiers here, i.e., sometimes, can, might, etc., but the verdict is far from in. Thanks, by the way, for the nice things you said.

Tom of Brooklyn wants to know what happened to the Jets. Paul Hackett, the offensive coordinator, collects all the heat, a role he's used to, but the problem goes much deeper. Starting a season with a 38-year-old QB with an injury history, is walking a tightrope, especially when you have no faith in the guy behind him. Vinny T. is falling apart under pressure from the rush, and he's under that pressure because the O-line flatly stinks. Jason Fabini is having all sorts of trouble with speed rushers. Kevin Mawae, supposedly the rock, the guy whose role is to bring it all together, has been a source of analytical quotes but not much more. I've seen him get tossed around, and I'm not sure his shoulder is right. Now Herman Edwards is vowing to bring the attack down to ground level and hammer away with Curtis Martin, and it's always a good thing to let the defense know what your plans are, but no one up front can knock anyone off the ball. And Martin's running on a bad wheel. I don't think the defense is that bad, but sooner or later it cracks because it's on the field too long.

Bobby C. of Philly wants my top three QBs so far. I don't feel comfortable with this one because I haven't seen them all, but you want an answer, not excuses, so I'll say ... well, I'll give you six. In alphabetical order -- Bledsoe, Brady, Favre, Gannon, McNabb, Vick. Rodney Peete and Kelly Holcomb get an asterisk because I haven't seen them play. Their numbers sure look good.

Lots of questions from Joe, a fellow Jerseyite from Point Pleasant, down by the shore. Is Dave Campo done as a head coach? Not yet. Do I believe Quincy Carter can be a good quarterback? Possibly, if he can pick up some accuracy somewhere (K-Mart is running a sale). Will Chad Hutchinson get the call later on? Yes, if Carter can't cut it. Can anyone stop McNabb? Yes. Tennessee did in the second half, switching from zone to man-to-man.

More Jersey e-mail, this time from Mike of Clifton, and I was waiting for someone to take a shot at my harsh evaluation of our state last week, and now he's here. I was too harsh, huh? Tell me, honestly, how many times have you been cut off by one of those hot rodders on U.S. 46, heading into Clifton? What's that you say? Never? Ha, ha and ha. Your psychiatric take on my whining ("Were you really complaining about you?") was interesting. Sure, I was complaining about me. I always am. But there's plenty of room left over for me to complain about lots of other things, too. Who ever put a limit on things you can complain about?

It's not just me. My wife is from Arizona and she's even more vehement about the attitude here than I am. Last year I spent some time with a pair of Jersey residents, Glenn Parker, the Giants' guard, and his wife, Casey, who's from Buffalo, which isn't exactly the land of the laid-back. Both of them had horror stories to tell about the way they were routinely treated by the folks here, especially in the supermarkets where they shopped. I mean, they both expressed shock at the overall spirit of nastiness.

On to football, as you say, particularly the Dolphins' O-line as a springboard to Ricky Williams' great start. I haven't seen it dominating anybody. I think the Dolphins have been running on defenses that came in expecting them to throw more. My favorite guy on the unit is LT Mark Dixon, although LG Jamie Nails has been playing well. Center Tim Ruddy does it on smarts. He wears down during the course of a game. The right side is just average. But they're well-coached, and you know how I feel about the offensive coordinator, Norv Turner. Simply the best, although the Patriots' Charlie Weis has had a hot hand so far.

Thank you for the final paragraph. Jimmy already has your regards, since he reads everything. I've sent those regards to the F.R. She appreciates it and says that you're the first person in New Jersey who ever said hello to her. "Smile, will ya?" Not likely. It makes me look cross-eyed.

Joe of New Orleans wants to know why last year's 7-9 Saints wind up with such a tough schedule, based on 2001 records. Well, their own division was soft. Only one playoff team there, Tampa Bay. But the NFC division they drew, the Central, had two playoff teams in it, Green Bay and Chicago, each with fancy records, and the AFC division their schedule, again the Central, also had a pair of them, Pittsburgh and Baltimore. And then the Saints had to play two second-place finishers (New Orleans had the second-best 2001 record of the four teams in its current division) -- Washington and San Francisco, another team with a good record (12-4). That makes six 2001 playoff teams on the slate. It's the luck of the draw, and I think it's a fair system. The only difference between Tampa Bay's schedule, which you say is so easy, and that of the Saints is that the Bucs play the non-playoff Saints of 2001, plus Philly and St. Louis instead of Washington and the Niners. Believe me, no one's ganging up on the Saints. And thank you for you know what.

Two questions about Randy Moss (only two, Jimmy? C'mon now). Andrew of Calgary and Jim of Columbia, Md., wonder if the Vikings might be better off without the supreme distraction that he provides. I'll repeat what I've said a million times. After watching Randy in the Motor City Bowl and the way those two little Ole Miss corners got in his face and made him quit cold, I wrote that he would never make it in the NFL. Professional cornerbacks would eat him up. Shows how much I know. But it seems to be a developing situation. He is falling into the role of a classic coach-breaker. The only question I ask is why did God, in his infinite wisdom, choose a jerk like this on whom to bestow such remarkable physical prowess? I'll have to wait a while to get that one answered, but in the meantime, here's Randy, pushing someone around in his Lexus, etc., getting into a jam with his QB and doing all sorts of stuff. The car thing seems screwy. I don't know the real story there, but I do know that he'll get a slap on the wrist whereas if it were you or I pulling such a stunt we'd do a nice stretch in the joint. Mike Tice seems to be comfortable in copping out for him -- boys will be boys and all that -- which infuriated my wife to no end, let me tell you, and which leads me to believe that he'll be in no hurry to bench his pouting superstar.

Are either of you two gentlemen a student of the classics? If you've read Homer's Iliad you might recall that the mighty Achilles was a holdout during the early going of the Trojan War, and until his contract was renegotiated and his best buddy went on permanent injured reserve he stayed in his tent and pouted Then he went out and got the MVP award of their Super Bowl. Personally, I would have given it to Hector, a good guy without enough coverage skills to handle Achilles.

Enough showing off and on to important things. Andrew mentions that I haven't gotten into any wine stuff yet. Well, no one's asked. Jim offers some praise, and I thank him.

Two nice comments about Mike Webster from Paul of Denver and James of Boston, the latter gentleman pointing out what a great inspirational and motivational force the great center had been. He mentions that the Steelers always seemed to have had a great run of centers through the years, and can I think of another team that's been so good in one position for so long? How about the legacy of QBs on the 49ers -- Montana, Young and Garcia? But tracing it back to the '70s? No, I can't come up with any, but I will when I start thinking about it later tonight.

Kenny of Mesa, Ariz., wonders if K.C. should have gone for the deuce at the end of regulation against the Patriots and won the game outright. Gambling is not Dick Vermeil's style, but he has second-guessed himself and admitted that he should have run a fake field goal, since it was wide open. Hey, don't talk about it man, do it!

Saving the best for last. Chico of Los Gatos, Calif., wants to know if I have a set of pre-written obits ready to plug in when some notable dies, as the New York Times morgue has, or if I just do it on the spur of the moment, based on personal recollection. Nothing is prepared in advance. I do it as soon as I can, as quickly as I can, and thanks for your commendation. An example -- when Tom Landry died, they managed to reach me in Paris, on vacation, and I dictated the piece on him from memory, without notes. I consulted my notebooks for the obits on Unitas, Hayes and Webster. Since the magazine comes out later than the newspapers do, I have to be careful about repeating what's already been written, and I try to use stories and reminiscences that I've never written before. My wife has the following message for you: "You are one of the very few people who's ever recognized what goes into these stories. You have just made a friend."

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